Injured Melbourne superstar Christian Petracca has provided more insight into his mental health battles following his traumatic injury experience, revealing the horror reality that he could die during surgery.
Amid intense speculation surrounding Petracca's future at the Demons, the four-time All-Australian has remained relatively silent but has returned to the spotlight after a guest spot on LISTNR's podcast,ย The Howie Games.
Speaking alongside Cody Weightman and Izak Rankine with host Mark Howard, the 28-year-old delved into the harsh realities of his injury sustained in June, disclosing the difficulties for not only himself but his family too.
โThe surgery, in general, was probably a really traumatic experience,โ Petracca said.
โBeing awake for it, internal bleeding, wasn't able to be put to sleep under anaesthetic โ I can think of every single thing that happened through that time.
โCouldn't feel (being cut), but I remember lashing out to the surgeon and got quite claustrophobic.โ
Petracca went on to reveal that he handed the surgeon his fiancee's number in the early hours of the morning to call to say "(Petracca) might not make it basically".
โโHe's in critical condition because there was internal bleeding and everything, so he's in serious and critical condition.'
โFor me, it was more that that hit home rather than the actual injury itself.
โAt the time, I was on just medication, and I'm out of surgery, so (I was thinking) this is great, get me some food,โ he said.
โBut you look at Bella's face and think far out, this must've been way more serious than what I initially interpreted it as.
โEver since then, the last six or seven weeks have been really tough on both of us. She's been amazing for me since I first met her, but just through this experience.โ
As a result, Petracca said he feels like he has "insomnia", reliving the trauma and the ongoing impact the injury has on him and his family.
โTo be honest, I can't sleep because of stuff like that. I'm having to see a trauma psych to deal with what's going on,โ Petracca said.
โI think about it every day, which is something I'll eventually get over.
โ(I'm talking through) a lot of stuff. The self-doubt, the trauma, not the incident, just the trauma and stress of everything. I've been in and out of hospital three or four times through emergency.โ
โSo mentally, I'm struggling a little bit, but I know that the work I put in mentally with all my mindfulness and meditation and surrounding myself around good people, no doubt I'll be fine.
Petracca is looking to find the positives out of the experience, saying spending time with family and away from football has provided a new perspective.
โ(I'm) trying to find a silver lining in everything. โDid this happen for a reason? How can I find the positives out of it in a really tough situation?'
โBeing able to spend time with my loved ones, with Bella, being able to do more cooking and things on social media. When you see those images of my mum and my partner hugging me โ we're all a son, a brother, and a partner to someone, at the end of the day, we're just human beings.
โFooty is just one part of our life, and we've got other avenues that we probably focus more on, to be honest. Footy's just the thing that we love because we loved doing it growing up.โ
The 28-year-old is unlikely to officially request a trade, according to The Age'sย Sam McClure, given the difficulty for a rival club to facilitate a deal.
