Mr. Meanwhile: Why the Giants can’t bank on a McVeigh spike

It has long been acknowledged that coaching athletes at the elite level is just about the toughest job outside of sweeping sewers or removing roadkill for a dollar.

Not only is your performance critiqued to well outside the bounds of sanity, but in a zero-sum game, if the wins don't outweigh the losses and cups aren't added to cabinets, any and all efforts made are deemed to be insufficient.

No wonder the vast majority of men at the helm across the league appear so content to cultivate grey hairs.

With so many hours consumed building blueprints, altering line-ups and fretting over future fixtures, the throws of the caper have consumed the minds of many and remained undefeated against all who have dared to lead since before the first Sherrin was ever stitched.

However, since transitioning sharply from a pass-time played out by part-timers to the full-time, full-on professional era, these same stewards that were previously left to fly solo now have more deputies at their disposal than Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf.

Although each of the competition's 18 head coaches have fleets of assistants to help out with duties both on the training track and on game day, it is this same collective of offsiders that harbour dreams to hold high office and often end up in the hot seat once the daggers are drawn.

And with the Giants shuffling their coaching deck ahead of their Round 9 loss to Carlton, Mark McVeigh was named the latest lieutenant to earn his stripes.

Following Leon Cameron's exit after eight seasons and change as the head honcho of the orange and charcoal franchise, McVeigh's elevation from assistant to interim coach will see him become just the third name since the Giants' inception to hold the reigns in the Harbour City's west.

With an inauspicious 2-9 start to the 2022 season seeing the league's youngest side slide outside of finals contention in the eyes of most punters and pundits, the role before the former Bomber should, realistically, come with less strain than was shackled to Cameron.

Add in the routinely trotted-out cliché that an interim coach's broom is a lock to sweep clean, and common consensus will likely have the Giants' minute fanbase expecting a Round 10 spike under 'Spike'.

Strangely, commentators and supporters seem keen to continue pressing the almost superstitious theory that stand-in coaching options actually have a greater chance of winning games than the names that were previously hired on a full-time basis.

Yet, when actually put to the test, this belief that interim coaches are sureties to claim victory in their first game calling the shots actually falls flatter than many would first believe.

Since the dawn of the 21st century, 24 assistant coaches have taken on the role of senior coach the week after their former boss bit the dust.

And in spite of the routinely put forth platitude that a first-up win can be banked on, this collective of next men up have only ever tasted victory on 11 occasions for a winning percentage of just a tick over 45.

From Ben Allan taking over Damien Drum's unenviable job of leading the Dockers in 2001, to dual Brownlow medallist Robert Harvey's seven-game stint steering the Magpies' sinking ship, these assistants thrown to the wolves have actually been more prone to dropping points rather than winning them.

While truth has often escaped stories that continue to be bandied around league circles, the dented notion that change is enough to claim wins is one that McVeigh isn't buying, despite offering more than just a few trusted truisms of his own.

“My sole focus is just week to week at the moment," the 232-game Don told the media on Friday morning.

“My job right now is to stabilise everyone in the football department and make sure that we’re building in the right direction."

And though prompted for his position beyond Sunday's final siren at the Showgrounds, the bearded stand-in's bat remained equally as straight.

“Whatever happens at the end of the year, we’ve got to be in a position where we finish off really well. Where that leads, I don’t know."

Despite an inability to tap into their previous season's form that took them to the semi-final weekend, those who have studied GWS' fixture list will contend that McVeigh has just about the easiest first pitch to swing at, with his Giants set to host the plucked Eagles this Sunday.

This same group of footy pragmatists is also sure to raise the fact that Brett Ratten's inability to rouse the Blues towards the end of the 2007 season will have no bearing on the outcome of 'Spike's first class in session.

Though correct, even if McVeigh and his brigade of ex-Bombers in the coaching box can drive Leon Cameron's second-hand Lamborghini across the line this weekend, it won't be enough to breathe life into one of the most tired maxims still attached to the code.

Still, if GWS can ward off the wounded westerners in what is already a dead rubber in May, removalists and sweepers can bet their bottom dollar that unchecked mouthpieces will still be willing to stoke the flames of a truly truthless statement.

And even if the Giants do surrender the points, history suggests that the same saying will inevitably be wheeled out the next time the senior coaching fraternity loses another member.