As the chants and cheers woven throughout their dominant semi-final swoop gave way to a brewery's worth of beer, the footy world was on notice - the Magpie Army was nearing its crescendo.

But as Saturday night's raucous cavorting gave way to the inevitability of Sunday's hangover, irritation prevailed and instability reigned.

Despite Collingwood's Round 22 loss to Sydney at the SCG requiring no excuse, one was provided - an obtuse one at that.

Speaking after his Pies were humbled for the first time since mid-May, Craig McRae steered his press conference into another dimension.

"The spaces of the MCG allow us to spread the field and use that shape to shape the corridor," McRae claimed.

"This ground didn't allow us to do that. But they didn't allow us either."

While wedged within praise for the Swans and discourse surrounding form, injuries and the run to September, McRae's topographical read became the talking point from his 10-minutes behind the microphone.

Whether the SCG's confines were a genuine concern of McRae's or whether the 48-year-old was simply dog-whistling was tough to tell at such a pitch.

Either way, ears were pricked to Fly's calls, with his baton collected and sprinted away with.

Having played 16 of their 24 fixtures this season on their familiar stomping ground in Yarra Park, Collingwood's 13-3 record in 2022 suggests that their style and the venue's dimensions have married harmoniously.

And while the SCG stands shorter and thinner in comparison to Melbourne's Mecca of football, the fact that no two AFL venues share identical dimensions is just one of the oddities that helps make our game so peculiar.

According to research conducted by Cody Atkinson and Sean Lawson for theย ABCย earlier this year, the MCG's surface is a full five metres longer and wider than Sydney's cricket ground, providing a further 1163 square metres in which to roam.

Although these numbers appear to aid McRae's hypothesis that Sydney was given an edge in their strangulation, both Atkinson and Lawson contend that the modern game just doesn't work this way.

With defensive zones and webs all the rage with contemporary coaches, AFL contests have become condensed, with each player being found within two kicks of the ball; each acting as proverbial moths drawn to the light.

But just how close are today's names getting to the flame?

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During the 2021 season, each of the competition's 18 clubs combined to produce 56,301 contested possessions at a mean of 3127.8 per team.

Throughout the final season of the 20th century, 1999, the 16 clubs plying their trade ahead of further expansion cracked in for 47,769 contested disposals at an average of 2985.6 per team.

While only a 4.8 per cent increase over 22 years, the near 130 per cent spike in tackles made across the same stretch (up from an average of 575.1 per club to 1319.5) highlights just how constricted AFL football has become, no matter where it is played.

So, while McRae's men may have had multiple issues against a solitary side on a single afternoon, the trend toward contests being played in a phone booth has little to do with the league's sixth smallest stadium.

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With nine stands, a rotund boundary and a turreted clock, the Sydney Cricket Ground has more quirks than most league venues.

And given the low rise of the Ladies and Members pavilions, wedged between and beneath the multiple porches of the Brewongle and Noble stands, ombre sunsets can be seen when looking west all year round.

Although shots of the green roofs sitting sharply before blazes of orange and runs of red make handy fodder for photographers, the product beamed into lounge rooms isn't nearly as picturesque.

Nestled on a platform between old and new architecture, no more than 20 feet above the dual-purpose surface, is where patrons can spy on broadcast cameras. But while the vantage point is sure to be a happy one for the head behind the lens, the view from those on the coach is stunted and disproportionate.

For this reason, it's easy to see why so many have been swept up in the secondary narrative of Saturday's preliminary final. Still, poorly located cameras creating contorted images is hardly a fresh look for the league - remember Waverley and Subiaco, anyone?

Add in the fact that the SCG's once questionable 50-metre arcs have been granted a seven-metre extension since 2007, and the legitimacy of Collingwood's cries become even more distorted.

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With airlines gouging fans for a 95-minute flight and capacity capped at 48,000, many members of the Magpie Army will be forced to cheer on from the lounge room rather than the outer.

But as premium events deserve a full house and victorious qualifying finalists the right to play hosts in the season's penultimate week, little can be done to ease this pain, even if the Swans wanted to.

In the wake of his side's efforts to book their preliminary pass, Sydney CEO Tom Harley divulged that while Accor Stadium in Homebush had hosted finals since 2003, a new deal had been struck and the home of the 2000 Olympics seen as surplus to requirements.

"We've got a venue hiring agreement with Venues NSW to play all of our games and finals at the SCG," Harley told 3AW.

"Accor Stadium was reconfigured to an AFL field for Round 1 this year, and it takes about a month to get it to that standard as well."

Given logistics, scarce time and the fact that travelling finalists have never been granted any right to call fixturing shots, whether liked or not, Collingwood will mount the next leg of their premiership assault east, and not west, of Centrepoint Tower.

Yet, as a club that revels in wearing their underdog tag - perhaps no more so than this season - this rough roll of the dice chased with a bitter pill should suit Collingwood right down to their boot straps.

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Since first gracing the grass of Moore Park in an out-of-town clash against next-door neighbours Fitzroy way back in 1903, Collingwood has made a further 23 treks to the SCG, collating a 9-0-15 record.

Although the Woods' 10-3 record when travelling to Homebush would have inspired confidence upon a fixturing alteration, the competition's most loved, and loathed, club hasn't played for points at Stadium Australia in over eight years.

With their last SCG clash coming just 33 days ago, the Pies' familiarity with their next destination will be fresher than many names in their locker room.

And as McRae's men have spent the entirety of the leadup training on the venue's identical dimensions, it's clear the first-year steward was shooting straight during his Harbourside presser.

Across the course of Collingwood's miraculous season spent testing the tickers of their swathe of members, McRae has routinely professed his desire to learn from the past so as to swiftly impact the future.

So, with De Goey in toe and the wisdom of where the line is owned double fold, all black and white backers should be tickled pink that the odds are stacked somewhere else, as it usually provides a return.

The phrase 'control the controllables' has long been a part of football's lexicon, and while open-ended, Collingwood fanatics would do well to embrace the idiom.

Just as barracking for the sun to shine has rarely yielded results, expending energy on Twitter howling about predetermined fixtures is unlikely to alter much either.

And for a side travelling to face one that proved able to knock off the reigning premiers on their own dunghill earlier this month, it's worth keeping in mind that the fixture, the venue, and yes, the dimensions aren't designed to suit your preferences.

That's what winning in the first week of September is for.

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