AFL Editorial and Opinion

Which AFL player would every premiership contender love to clone?

Two stars are better than one, especially in September.

Published by
Zero Hanger

Stop the presses, the league has a radical new rule. And no, old mate Eddie McGuire isn't behind this one.

As of Thursday afternoon, every league club now has the ability to clone and select any one player currently on their list.

Obviously, we are yanking your chains, pulling your legs and having you on, but with a fortnight to go before finals, the prospect got us thinking: for those still in the race for the flag, if they could 'Dolly the Sheep' somebody in their locker room, just who would it be?

Naturally, for some premiership contenders, the answer is glaringly obvious. But for several of their contemporaries, a conclusion lies closer to the weeds.

From the bookies' favourite to the rank outsiders, here, in reverse ladder order, are the nine players the nine teams in mathematical contention for the 2023 flag would love two of.

Western Bulldogs

Marcus Bontempelli

While the Dogs' are at long odds to make the eight let alone press for a third premiership, these odds shrink considerably when it comes to the star they would love to replicate.

Adept inside, outside, below his knees, above his head, in front of goal and behind the ball, Bontempelli is arguably the most versatile player currently plying their trade, and with the Dogs now in a do-or-die spot ahead of September, there's no doubt two Bonts would be better than one.

GWS Giants

Toby Greene

In the same vein as his rival from the Whitten Oval, the Giants wouldn't have a second thought before ushering Greene into the cell reproducer.

In an under or heading for goal, few - if any - current AFL players possess the ability to turn a game in an instant like the Giants' skipper.

Sydney

Errol Gulden

Question: What is better than having one Errol Gulden on a wing?

Answer? Having a Gulden roaming on both sides of the ground

Some might press for the pass of Nick Blakey off half-back or the hybrid skillset of Isaac Heeney, however, we've gone with the local product that already owns one-half of the SCG.

Adept at winning the ball, a clean conduit going forward and ferocious when its his turn to defend, the 21-year-old certainly punches well above his pint size.

St Kilda

Jack Sinclair

Since letting his locks flow, Sinclair has become a revelation for the Saints, dominating off half-back, as well as showing his influence in the centre of the ground.

Though Ross Lyon would love to throw his mulletted rebounder into the guts on a full-time basis, the man moving the magnets doesn't quite have the stocks to cover Sinclair's dash out of defensive 50.

Yet, with the aid of genetic science, and more than an ounce of suspended belief, Sinclair is now set to cover for *checks notes* Sinclair for the Saints' Saturday night date at the Lions' den.

Carlton

Jacob Weitering

Charlie Curnow's steadying mark behind the ball last Saturday afternoon saw the Coleman medallist's name thrown into the mix. However, we've locked in the Blues' most dependable defender instead.

Having lost just 11 per cent of his one-on-one contests across the course of the season's first 23 rounds, Weitering sticks to his man like Tarzan's grip. And with the Blues set to do battle against some of the game's best key forwards next month, who better to sure up things behind the ball than the bloke originally selected 11 picks ahead of Curnow?

After all, forwards may sell memberships but defenders win premierships.

Melbourne

Christian Petracca

While two 'Clarrys', or two 'Kozzies', beats the heck of just one, it's 'Trac's versatility that sees him get the nod for this experiment.

The Norm Smith medallist's ability to win the ball at will is known to all and sundry, but as reiterated during periods of this season, Petracca can play a steadying hand inside forward 50.

Still, with 26.32 for the year, and 19.31 in 2022, Simon Goodwin will be hopeful that his pair of TikTok chefs can straighten up as the season enters the straight.

Port Adelaide

Connor Rozee

Sure, Zak Butters has been in Brownlow contention for much of the 2023 season, but we've opted for one of his teammates from the 2018 draft.

With 58 goals from exactly 100 scoring shots since 2021, Rozee is a force to reckon with inside the offensive arc. Still, don't get it twisted, the 23-year-old still gets his hands dirty in the centre of the ground, attending 69 per cent of the Power's centre bounces this season - the most of any non-ruckman.

Throw one up forward and the other in the guts and hey presto, Port's premiership odds have just plummeted.

Brisbane

Josh Dunkley

Akin to his former skipper, Josh Dunkley is one of the contemporary game's most versatile stars.

While Dunkley has seen a scaleback in his offensive and rucking stats during his first season in the Sunshine State, should Chris Fagan wish to pull either reign next month, the ability to call on a pair of premiership winners would only aid Brisbane's mission to break their 20-year flag drought.

Collingwood

Jordan De Goey

The obvious answer here is Nick Daicos, but with the precocious sophomore talent currently sidelined with a fracture in his knee, there's little point having two injured stars.

No, with seasonal averages of 23.8 disposals and 5.5 clearances each week, along with 14 goals on the year at an accuracy of 60.9 per cent, our nod goes to Jordan De Goey.

While the divisive Pie has had his knockers, last season, De Goey, once again, proved that the September stage wasn't too big for him, averaging 20.7 touches, 6.7 clearances and a goal-a-game for the calendar month.

Published by
Zero Hanger