Zero Hanger’s Ultimate AFL Draft

Pick 10 – Patrick Dangerfield

With a Brownlow Medal, a league MVP, five best and fairests and a stocked rack of All Australian jackets, we were always going to mimic the Crows in 2007 by selecting Patrick Dangerfield.

Like Johnson in the slot before him, the Moggs Creek man has been denied a celebratory drink from the premiership challis, but with a career mean of 23.9 disposals across 14-campaigns, it hasn’t been through a lack of effort.

While the Crow-come-Cat failed to register a single vote from the umpires in his first two seasons, Dangerfield went on to register a nine-season stretch between 2012 and 2020 in which he recorded double digits on Brownlow night.

At 31, time is well and truly ticking on the AFLPA president to finally get his claws on the cup, but while Chris Scott and the Cats continue to opt for experience over youth, the window of opportunity is set to stay ajar.

Should the local product ever receive the chance to climb the dais on the last Saturday in September, his career record will likely be seen as one of the most complete in the game’s history.

For the record, Dangerfield’s trifecta of grand final sprint wins is pretty impressive too.

Pick 9 – Chad Cornes

While former captains and winners of multiple premierships were in contention to earn the right to call themselves the greatest pick 9, the honour has gone to a man with a 50 per cent record on grand final day.

Though a four-time flag winner in Martin Pike and contemporary names such as Dion Prestia, Christian Salem, Darcy Moore and Jack Ziebell had minor rights to this prize, it is Chad Cornes that sits above his counterparts.

After commencing his stint at Alberton ahead of the 1998 season, the son of a Glenelg legend began blazing a trail that led to a premiership medallion, dual All Australian honours and a podium finish in the 2004 Brownlow count.

With seasonal averages of 20.8 disposals, 4.9 marks and 4.6 rebound 50s off half-back, it’s little surprise to find that the vast majority of these awards came during Cornes’ zenith in 2004.

Though many of the names previously listed have time up their sleeves to chase the Power hardman down, ‘The Chad’ still leads the way at the present.

Pick 8 – Jimmy Bartel

As one of only two players in the history of the league to win a Brownlow, a Norm Smith, a premiership medallion and play 300-games, picking Geelong champion Jimmy Bartel at this point of our hypothetical draft was as straightforward as a Route 66.

After making the 13-minute drive from Bell Park to Kardinia Park prior to the 2002 season, Bartel only put the quill down on his sublime career after 15-seasons in a hooped guernsey that saw him land him three flags.

With a premiership medallion, an AA blazer and Brownlow honours, the Geelong Falcon’s 2007 campaign was, without doubt, his magnum opus.

And having finished with an average stat line of 27.5 touches, 5.3 tackles, 3.9 inside 50s and 3.7 clearances, it was little wonder why nobody could catch Bartel in that year’s count.

It's also why names like Dyson Heppell, Jude Bolton and another bearded Cat in Joel Corey all fell short of running him down in this catalogue.

Pick 7 – Joel Selwood

With the seventh pick on our list, we have our sixth, and final, Cat.

And while hoop heavy so far, omitting Geelong’s longest-serving skipper on just these grounds would make less sense than the plot of ‘Inception’ to someone with a concussion.

Over the course of Joel Selwood’s early years at Kardinia Park, everything the Bendigo Pioneers product touched seemed to turn to gold.

As his arrival in the Pivot City coincided with a starter cord being pulled on the Cats’ most recent run of contemporary success, Selwood tasted defeat on just six occasions throughout his first three seasons, whilst managing to play a roll in two flags in the process.

While this success rate has inched closer towards normality over the past 12-seasons, the third of four brothers to play AFL football has managed to sing the club’s bastardised version of ‘Toreador’ after 72.6 per cent of his 334-games.

Add in the fact that Selwood stashed a third flag to his bag in 2011 to go with his Rising Star Award, three best and fairests and six All Australian nods, and fellow candidates Jordan Lewis and Ollie Wines never really stood a chance here.

Pick 6 – Jack Macrae

While the sixth selection at every draft has always been used to secure a highly touted talent, the success rate of the spate of names to earn starts here has been widely dismal.

Should you look at the average games played by players plucked at any other selection in the top 10, you will find that each sits above the 90-game mark.

However, when this same metric is applied to pick 6, this mean falls to just 64.

Although names such as Chad Wingard, Jaidyn Stephenson and Gary Rohan were taken at this point in their respective draft years, they are surrounded by busts like Beau Dowler, Mitch Thorp and Murray Vance.

Still, should you search for the needle in the haystack, you will eventually find a premiership pup that seems content to live life perennially poisoned by leather.

Since being drafted by the Western Bulldogs in 2012, Jack Macrae has risen from a kid with potential to a prize-winning midfielder who is nigh-on untaggable.

Despite averaging just shy of 18-disposals throughout his debut season, the Oakleigh Charger continued to raise the bar throughout his next eight campaigns, with his efforts culminating in 2021 with a mean of nearly 34 per game.

Given this meteoric figure, it was little surprise that the 27-year-old finished the year with his third straight All Australian selection and the honour of winning the Gary Ayres Award for the best player across the course of September.

While the outside runner is, without doubt, the forerunner for this post at the present, with fledgling stars like Ben King and Denver Grainger-Barass also selected at pick 6, there remains the potential for a baton handover at some point down the path.

Pick 5 – Lance Franklin

When starting a team from scratch, any selector would be over the moon to have names like Scott Pendlebury, Travis Boak, Luke Power, Jarryd McVeigh, Jake Stringer or Ben Cunnington as prospective recruits.

However, if a Hawk turned Swan on the precipice of history was also available, this aforementioned sextet would be left fighting it out to see whose hands would play the second fiddle.

Given ‘Buddy’ has been a walking, talking human highlight reel for the entirety of his 17-season career, little needs to be said about the spearheads acts, athleticism and achievements, as the vast majority of us have borne witness to them.

Still, if you need the cliff notes on the spearhead’s dominant AFL stint, you’ll find that Franklin is a dual premiership player and a best and fairest winner, as well as being the owner of four Colemans, 12 leading goalkicker awards, eight All Australian blazers and a pair of Goal of the Year gongs.

While 2022 will see the Perth product sit just five goals shy of joining Ablett, Wade, Dunstall, Coventry and Lockett in the ‘1000 Club’, next season may also be the last that we see the 34-year-old at the level.

Should a contract renewal fail to arise at the cessation of next year and Franklin’s career be drawn to close, fans of all denominations are sure to be tipping their hats to a forward who is just about the most freakishly talented anyone has ever laid eyes on.

Pick 4 – Matthew Pavlich

Although several of these most recent picks have proved relatively simple, the task of selecting the greatest player ever plucked at pick 4 proved to be a much stiffer challenge.

While names like Peter Matera, Justin Lepptisch, Josh Kennedy, Clayton Oliver and Andrew Gaff were amongst the field of runners in this race, there are also two short-priced favourites that are tipped for a photo finish.

Despite holding stronger claims than most runners-up found throughout this exercise, the consensus pick of many in Marcus Bontempelli has missed out on selection here.

With a flag, four best and fairests, four All Australian selections, a league MVP and an AFLCA Champion Player of the Year Award to his name, many are likely to be vexed by ‘The Bont’s exclusion, but with a dead-eyed Docker also in contention, the Dogs’ skipper is just a yard off the pace at the minute.

RELATED: Ranking the top 10 number 4 draft picks since 2000

Having played in each of the first 16-seasons of the millennium, the mere presence of Matthew Pavlich in an anchored guernsey gave the Fremantle Football Club weight across the competition.

Though a premiership remained out of the South Australian’s grasp over this stretch, little else did as evidenced by his set of six AA nods and Doig Medals.

While many will remember Pavlich as one of the game’s eminent centre-half forwards, the first of his sextet of representative blazers was won when playing as the Dockers’ full-back at the age of just 20.

Irrespective of the fact that Pavlich’s nose is currently leading this sprint to the post, should Bontempelli and Oliver continue to dominate over the remainder of their days in boots, the result is in line for alteration when all three’s races are finally run.

Pick 3 – Chris Judd

While we are unlikely to receive many nods of approval from fanatics whose hearts lie at the Punt Road end of the MCG, tattooed terminator Dustin Martin will have to be content with silver in this survey.

Although his stretch of Septembers between 2017 and 2020 are unparalleled throughout the league’s history, the fact that ‘Dusty’ is vying for selection with a dual Brownlow Medallist means that the ‘Tiger King’ was always facing an uphill battle.

Despite Chris Judd’s career ending in inauspicious circumstances due to injury, the Victorians start to his AFL life out west was decidedly white-hot.

RELATED: Ranking the top 10 number 3 draft picks since 2000

Across his six seasons as an Eagle, Judd swept the field with a premiership medallion, two best and fairests, a pair of AA selections, a Goal of the Year win, a league MVP, a Norm Smith and the 2004 Brownlow Medal.

Though this haul was enough to have him seen as arguably the greatest name amongst his guernsied peers, the Sandringham Dragon’s foot remained on the pedal after trading Subiaco for Princes Park ahead of the 2008 season.

With another four All Australian blazers to his name as a Blues, as well as a trifecta of B&Fs, another Leigh Matthews Trophy and the 2010 Brownlow, it is hard to know which side of the Nullarbor Judd’s peak came at.

Having thatched together two careers that children dream about achieving once, it was little wonder why the astute Eagle-come-Blue became a first-ballot Hall of Famer earlier this year.

Pick 2 – Jarryd Roughead

There is little doubting the fact that we are spoilt for choice when trying to fill our penultimate position.

Should we look to the west, we will find a dreadlocked ruckman who has raised the bar on what is expected of a ruckman.

Rotating our eyes to the northeast, we then find a ‘Big Four’ midfielder that tasted the ultimate success as a Lion on three occasions.

In Victoria, our eyes are drawn to a selfless leader who has led Richmond’s rise from the canvas and a dynamic Demon who well and truly hit his straps this season.

Still, while each of Nic Naitanui, Nigel Lappin, Trent Cotchin and Christian Petracca would make fine choices for our pick 2, we’ve instead read out the name of a country kid who called Hawthorn home for 15-seasons.

RELATED: Ranking the top 10 number 2 draft picks since 2000

While Jarryd Roughead may not have been the star of Hawks' forward line for the first nine years of his days in brown and gold, the Leongatha spearhead’s consistency and selflessness saw him end his career as both a wildly decorated and much beloved name.

Though each of ‘Roughy’s trifecta of leading goalkicker titles came after ‘Buddy’ flew north to the Harbour City, the fact that the former won a Coleman Medal in a premiership year goes to show that he always had the capabilities to lead the line.

Irrespective of the fact that there have been more vaunted forward’s in the Hawks’ rich history, Roughead’s four flags and pair of All Australian honours have him within touching distance of names like Dunstall, Brereton and Hudson.

With this in mind, you can take it to the bank that the redhead will be voted in the Hall of Fame at the first time of asking in 2024.

1 – Luke Hodge

And here we are, folks. The first pick of the draft.

This is the place where the most talented kid in the country each year sees their dreams achieved and their AFL lives begin.

However, it is also the point where nightmares can often commence too.

While selection at this slot has seen some names crumble under the burden of expectation, others like Marc Murphy, Adam Cooney, Brett Deledio, Brendon Goddard and Nick Riewoldt have well and truly flourished.

Still, none of these superstars has earned a place on our roster, as yet another four-time premiership Hawk has been plucked instead.

RELATED: Ranking the top 10 number 1 draft picks since 2000

As the consensus pick 1 in the 2001 ‘Super Draft’, a formerly podgy Luke Hodge went on to shed the puppy fat and repaid the price Hawthorn coughed up to secure him in spades.

Across the course of his 16-seasons at Glenferrie and Waverley, the Geelong Falcon grew from a reliable contributor to a fearsome competitor with ease, earning the club’s captaincy in 2011.

While this elevation came in the wake of Hawthorn’s 2008 premiership, Hodge became the leader on the dais alongside Alastair Clarkson as the Hawks toasted September success in 2013, 2014 and 2015.

Although a two-time Peter Crimmins Medallist, as well as a triple All Australian, Hodge’s twin peaks came in the 2008 and 2014 deciders, having won Norm Smith Medals after averaging 30.5 disposals and 1.5 goals across these respective clashes.

Not content to bow out as possibly Hawthorn’s greatest ever skipper, Hodge then flew north to Brisbane for a pair of seasons in which he imparted his wisdom and work rate on a youthful Lions squad.

Despite falling short of a fifth flag in the River City between 2018 and 2019, should Chris Fagan’s side salute within their current premiership window, their victory will be covered in the Colac product’s fingerprints.